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According to sources, actor Scott Bakula has been shopping a new Television Pilot around Hollywood the past few weeks. Most studio executives have passed on his new idea, citing “unoriginal concept”. Fox Studio executive Bridget Hegarty said,

“His latest attempt at ‘A-List Status’ has left a few people wondering about his mental clarity and his talent.”

Donald P. Bellisario, of “Magnum P.I.” fame, and Quantum Leap creator, also had a few words to say to us regarding Scott Bakula’s misfire.

“Let me just rewind it for you about 18 years. It’s 1989 and and my new pilot called ‘Quantum Leap’ hits the scene. The Internet Movie Database describes the plot perfectly,”

‘Theorizing that one could time travel within his own lifetime, Doctor Sam Beckett led an elite group of scientists into the desert to develop a top secret project, known as QUANTUM LEAP. Pressured to prove his theories or lose funding, Doctor Beckett, prematurely stepped into the Project Accelerator and vanished. He awoke to find himself in the past, suffering from partial amnesia and facing a mirror image that was not his own. Fortunately, contact with his own time was made through brainwave transmissions, with Al, the Project Observer, who appeared in the form of a hologram that only Doctor Beckett could see and hear. Trapped in the past, Doctor Beckett finds himself leaping from life to life, putting things right, that once went wrong and hoping each time, that his next leap will be the leap home.’

Mr. Bellisario also said,

“The premise of my show, ‘Quantum Leap’, is the EXACT premise Scott pitched to me. I mean, the only thing he changed were the characters names.”

When asked if he minded describing, in further detail, the premise of Scott’s new show, Mr. Bellisario declined a comment, only to rescind as I was leaving, saying,

“Scott is trying his best to make a comeback, but he has no better chance than K-Fed. He can’t even land a Super Bowl commercial, much less sell a plagerised pilot.”

We tracked Scott down to the Ralph’s grocery store in North Hollywood, where he presently works as a bagger. His headshot is taped to the managers window he says, “In order to break back in the business.”

Amazingly enough, Bakula’s co-star, Dean Stockwell, funny (Hawaiin) shirt and all, was working the register.

We caught up with both of them on Deans “cigar” break.

Funk: We’ve been hearing gossip about your new pilot script. It drawing a lot of similarities to a show you used to star in.

Scott: “The premise of my show is completely different, it has nothing to do with Quantums or Leaps!”

Dean: “How can they confuse that?”

Funk: Aren’t you like 110 years old? How are you still alive?

Scott: “Listen, I’ll break it down for you. “Breakthrough Jumps”, my new pilot, is about theorizing that one could time travel within his own lifetime, Doctor Bam Seckett leads an elite group of scientists into the desert to develop a top secret project, known as BREAKTHROUGH JUMPS. Pressured to prove his theories or lose funding, Doctor Seckett, prematurely stepped into the Project Accelerator and vanished. He awoke to find himself in the past, suffering from partial amnesia and facing a mirror image that was not his own. Fortunately, contact with his own time was made through brainwave transmissions, with Sal,…”

Dean: “That’s me!”

They high-five as Scott continues.

Scott: “…the Project Observer, who appeared in the form of a hologram that only Doctor Seckett could see and hear. Trapped in the past, Doctor Seckett finds himself leaping from life to life, putting things right, that once went wrong and hoping each time, that his next leap will be the leap home.”

Funk: Right. I don’t see how anyone could see the similarity.

Scott: “That’s what I’m saying!”

Dean: “Oh boy.”

Funk: Are you high? Or just old?

Dean: “No, this is just my Space Base. You want a hit?”

Now, I’m no stranger to the street drug scene, but I’d never heard that term, so I accepted gracefully….

*NEXT MORNING*

I awoke with a crick in my neck, propped up against a Jamba Juice dumpster. The words “Project Accelerator” spray-painted on the side.

Only when I walked into Jamba Juice for my favorite drink, The Pink Star, did I realize there was a post-it stuck to my forehead.

Sounds like Scott has some work to do on his script. Good luck. As I walked out of Jamba Juice I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the window, and it’s not me! Oh Boy…

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